She's So Lovely

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Communication Breakdown

It is without doubt, a weird time to be alive. I think one of the things I’m really struggling to get to grips with is the sheer amount of time I’m allocating to a screen, for the simple reason of keeping in touch with loved ones. Seeing their expressions is wonderful but bittersweet, as I’m reminded that these people I was once able to hug and kiss on the regular have now become 2D. Not, I have to add, that I’m complaining, in the grand scheme of things it is a very small price to pay for the health of ourselves and others.

But the screen time, that has been a wake-up call, I don’t want to look at my phone right now, but last week it was averaging 4 hours a day! As I juggle my degree, working from home and, of course, writing, texting, FaceTime, WhatsApp, House Party…I feel like the screen time is definitely draining my ability to keep focused and it’s definitely impacting my physical and mental wellbeing. So, what is the answer to finding some equilibrium? Especially when we feel so out of control.

“I feel like the screen time is definitely draining my ability to keep focused and it’s definitely impacting my physical and mental wellbeing.”

I’m lucky enough to work in a job where flex time is a thing. But until last week, the first part of my day would be greeted by a screen, my phone was so ingrained into my life that it even told me when to wake up! So actually, I’m now letting myself wake naturally. For me, resting is not just sleeping but it’s that winding down process before bed and also that wonderful five or ten minutes to rouse from bed in the morning. My phone’s alarm, even the softest jingle always felt so intrusive and I want to start removing those ‘essential’ elements of a screen from my day so it really is the ‘bare bones’.

Next, limiting time on Apps. Realistically I don’t need to scroll through Instagram, much as I get jealous of my competent baking pals whipping up their delicious foods, Instagram is a massive drain on my time. I’m not producing anything of worth myself, rather I end up living vicariously through a screen (yet again). I’ve tried to limit myself before, but this time I do feel that I need to be intentional. Setting down time then gives you freedom to take time with meals, to go for a run, do yoga…basically anything wholesome that makes you happy.

“I’m not producing anything of worth to myself, rather I end up living vicariously through a screen (yet again).”

Being strict with communication might be the toughest self-ask but I assure you I’m not being heartless! My body is very good at telling me when too much is too much but I’ve learnt the hard way not to ignore it! Be gentle, don’t drown out what’s going on within you. A few of my friends have already introduced ‘no phone days’ and I think it’s such a great idea. I don’t always call, I do a lot more voice-notes as this is easier to control and there’s no pressure to be ‘on’. If I do call my Mum who I’ve not seen in nearly a month, I want it to be a good quality call, not rushed or when I’m tired. Quality over quantity every time! 

We are so blessed with technology, but don’t feel the need to be connected to every single thing. It might feel like you’re missing something or you may feel guilty because you’re not taking Auntie Daphne’s call however, we need to remind ourselves this is a totally unprecedented situation. We have no idea when it will end so it’s really important we look after ourselves as best we can. I hope that some normalcy will creep back into life, but in the meantime keep goal-setting, keep creating and keep dreaming.

Alice x