What’s your weakness? I have many. To list a few; cheese boards, good boots, books and a smooth Malbec. We all have these silly weaknesses, things we love and find it difficult to say no to, don’t we? But then there are darker weaknesses that we don’t like to share, we can be quite secretive about them for fear of shame or being judged perhaps. One of my (many) weaknesses is that I can compromise my values in the face of something I want. Recently, I dated someone and if I’m totally honest, I knew there were red flags. But I ignored my gut instinct, every single thing I would advise to someone else to do and just went along with this relationship.

Whilst it’s really not a pleasant experience to pick at our faults, I do think we need to know ourselves. I encourage self-celebration, self-love always. It is so important to remind ourselves that we are talented, unique creations built for purpose and relationships with the people around us. But if all we do is look at the good stuff, so to speak, we are never being truly authentic, we’re not improving or moving forward. In this unwise relationship, my weakness, my headstrong, stubborn determination overruled both my head and my heart.

“But if all we do is look at the good stuff, so to speak, we are never being truly authentic, we’re not improving or moving forward.”

I can happily report it wasn’t too long before I was able to wake up and smell the coffee! It was another lesson, hopefully this time, learned. Because as much as I have been ignoring my weaknesses, especially when it comes to relationships we need to have good judgement, clear hearts and open eyes. Any person that you actively allow into your life has got to be a person who you can trust, who is dependable, who is loving and who is honest. It doesn’t matter if this person is a new friend or a new romantic interest, both can add joy or heartbreak, we need to be careful.

So, I’ve touched on knowing my own weaknesses as a method to identify where I need to improve, but what about other people’s? None of us are perfect, we are a work in progress! Other imperfect people, funnily enough, bring their own set of issues but we need to work out whether we can or can’t live with those weaknesses. For me, the crunch moment was when I had a brutally honest conversation with this guy I was dating. It turned out that every doubt I’d felt about him was confirmed in big, bold letters! His weaknesses, his character flaws weren’t compatible with mine. For someone else, they might not have been a deal-breaker, but for me, I couldn’t imagine a future tied to someone on such a different page. 

“None of us are perfect, we are a work in progress!”

To have a weakness isn’t surprising, we all struggle but we should desire to change, to improve, to build up our character. Maybe you’re a passionate person and you have a bit of an issue with anger. Maybe you work hard and you get stressed easily. Maybe it’s an addiction; be it with food, relationships or substance abuse. The truth is, our weaknesses can hurt us and hurt those around us. It might not be obvious to you and if you’re struggling to understand your weaknesses, ask trusted, wise, loving friends or family who know you. It might not be a pleasant experience but tell your heart that it’s important, listen and don’t roll your eyes.

Our strengths will always be our strengths. But if we allow our weaknesses to rule over us, we’re never going to win. We don’t want to live a half-life, or a life where we let ourselves down because we’ve never truly taken the time to invest in ourselves. Whilst this, no doubt, a difficult time for everyone I would really encourage you to revisit ‘you’ in a new, fresh way. Take some time to journal, get raw, honest…remember it isn’t a license to run yourself into the ground. It’s a kind conversation seeking to overcome things which have previously held you back and it’s going to look different for us all. 

“We don’t want to live a half-life, or a life where we let ourselves down because we’ve never truly taken the time to invest in ourselves.”

This might have been a tough read for you, maybe it’s stirred up something that you’ve been putting off addressing but believe me, friend, the quicker we are to look at our weaknesses, the better it is for us. We’ll never be perfect but every day is an opportunity to grow, to learn and to achieve. Keep safe, keep well, we’re praying for you!

Alice x