If I’m honest with you, I’ve not known what to write for some time. Every time I tried to write, it was like nothing good was flowing, a piece I had submitted some time ago was then rejected by a publication, my hands would hover over the keyboard I’d try, but again nothing flowed.

In the wake of George Floyd, I was even more at a loss for words, here was a terrible racist atrocity at the hands of those we assume protect lives gaining global attention and yet my mouth was open in silence. My mind would try to understand or reflect or empathise, but as a white woman, every attempt seemed only to highlight my white privilege rather than honouring and signal boosting black experiences.

“In the wake of George Floyd, I was even more at a loss for words, here was a terrible racist atrocity at the hands of those we assume protect lives gaining global attention and yet my mouth was open in silence.”

In attempting to educate and re-educate myself, I stumbled upon a concept called ‘co-conspirators’, which was shouted at a rally by Feminista Jones. What I have understood so far is that for the black community, being an ally is simply not enough. To have someone stand by you can be passive, and let’s be honest, women like me have stood by for hundreds of years, watching without action. Silent condemnation might as well be legitimisation, or even collaboration; by doing nothing we enable racism so progressing towards a co-conspirator role means we act.

“To have someone stand by you can be passive, and let’s be honest, women like me have stood by for hundreds of years, watching without action.”

I have to admit this conclusion has not been a sudden ‘ah-ha’ moment. For me, it’s taken many weeks to realise there is no end point. I had assumed wrongly that I wasn’t racist, but reading the news, reading social media posts, listening, watching, I realise that anti-racism is a journey not a destination as white folk have lived with priveledge for so long we are blinded to what is before us. It’s a constant unpicking, a consistent renewing of the mind. If you are white, it is so very necessary we do this work as we confront these internal biases, microaggressions and racism that dwells within us daily. It is not comfortable, yet we cannot pat ourselves on the back or applaud our efforts, those things in themselves undermine the very things we fight for. Equality and equity. The notion that we need congratulations for helping to balance the world only highlights how far we have to go in ending racism.

For a lot of single women, we may often find ourselves searching for place and purpose in a world that seems designed for couples. My BAME friends have indicated some of the exhaustion, the triggers associated with the current events. If you’re white, single, then we need to be supportive because we have the capacity to do so. We don’t want our voices to speak over our black sisters, that’s for certain, but we can change ourselves quietly, we can educate and re-educate those around us. We can donate, we can support black businesses. We can take time to listen to BAME experiences, we can strive towards becoming a co-conspirator that doesn’t end when the hashtags stop trending. Quite simply, we can be selfish in a progressive journey towards helping to end a problem created by white people. 

“If you’re white, single, then we need to be supportive because we have the capacity to do so.”

If you are black or indeed any non-white person reading this, then I want to commit to standing with you. I realise that there is a long way to go, but I will not give up. I hope if you are white and reading this, you will not let up fighting wherever you are in the battle. There are so many resources online to educate without asking our black friends to relive painful, triggering experiences. Let’s be sensitive, let’s be kind, let’s remember these things aren’t just for study, they are real, lived terrors. We need soft hearts to feel as much as we can, not for sympathy or for our experience but that it would mitigate anything we may read in the press that demonises anti-racism activity. Let’s be part of a revolution that enables black and BAME people to thrive and prosper, no longer to live in fear of their lives. 

Here are some beautiful activists, writers, podcasts and businesses you can support:

@thegreatunlearn / @opalayo / @thehistorycorridor / @blklivesmatter / @morganharpernichols / @commongroundaustralia / @amymcquire

Alice x