Beautiful Diaries Part 2. The Price of Pretty
Image from Pinterest: Paramount Pictures, Mean Girls (2004)
Part 2. of an exploration into our perception of exterior beauty and it’s impact on our mental health and self-image
It’s no secret that social media has underpinned the culture and society we currently find ourselves in, and beauty perceptions have become a casualty of this present visual age.
I honestly couldn’t think of a better term for content creators than “influencers” – the influence is real, for better or for worse.
The sea of beautiful faces, photoshopped bodies, trendy outfits, lives of luxury, extravagant holidays, attractive couples and perfect families that we consume on a daily basis – is addictive. Almost as addictive as the dopamine-releasing validation of ‘likes.’ It’s aesthetically pleasing. We like looking at nice things, it feels good. We like to live vicariously through others. But how many times has a session of scrolling through your ‘Explore’ page left you feeling sad, unattractive, poor, boring or dissatisfied with your life?
Beauty standards don’t exactly have their origins in Instagram, though. Airbrushed images in magazines and on-screen depicting one definition of beauty predate the perpetual flow of unattainable content that’s currently at our fingertips. And coming from a self-professed Disney freak, the one-sided fairy tales and beloved films of our childhoods are more than a little guilty.
But we know that different cultures have such widely varying standards of beauty. So who actually gets to decide what’s beautiful?
I’ll let you ponder on that before coming back to it in the next piece... but for now, there’s another question I want to deal with: do looks matter?
Well, do they?
Short answer, yes. (Realistically speaking).
The slightly longer answer deals with my favourite question to ask: “Why?”
Why do looks matter? Why do we strive to be pretty? To feel good about ourselves? To feel favoured by others? To find love? Tell me whyyyy!
Unless I’m grossly mistaken, I think most of us girls want to be pretty. It makes sense. Pretty is ‘good’ and we tend to want ‘good’ things. But why do we want it so bad?
The ‘feminine beauty ideal’ is a social construct that maintains that physical attractiveness is one of women's most important assets. That it’s something to strive for and protect at all costs. We’ve been socialised as women to place a considerable amount of significance on our looks, not only for a personal sense of worth, but for successfully securing relationships and acceptance in society.
Looks matter, but probably not as much as society would have us believe.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be pretty. But it becomes a problem when we inflate the importance of our looks far above their primary purpose. Our continuous conscious and unconscious consumption of media over the course of our lives is largely to blame. As a result, any evidence that we’re not pretty causes us distress.
“Pressure to conform to a certain definition of "beautiful" can have psychological effects, such as depression, eating disorders, and low self-esteem, starting from an adolescent age and continuing into adulthood.” A quote from the Wikipedia page, ‘Feminine beauty ideal’ – and it’s no wonder why. I’m sure all women, at one point or another, have felt even just a little bit down in relation to a negative belief about our looks. And you may have heard of body dysmorphic disorder, a condition characterised by a preoccupation with perceived physical flaws.
When it comes to low self-esteem, it’s not only unpleasant – it’s a barrier to reaching our full potential. In studies done by Dove, 85% of women and 79% of girls admitted that they opt out of important life activities due to lack of confidence in their appearance. It‘s surreal to think that something so exterior can have such a profound impact on how we think and feel about ourselves, to the extent that it influences our life choices and the opportunities we pursue.
4% of these women considered themselves beautiful. 4?!?! Oh girl, this has just got to change. But how?
Join me again for the final instalment in the ‘Beautiful Diaries’ series, when we’ll look at some practical things we can do to challenge the way we think about beauty, particularly things that have helped me.
See you then, beautiful xo
*If you feel you might be struggling with any of the issues mentioned in this piece, please open up to a trusted friend or family member, and don’t be afraid to speak to your doctor who can discuss different ways to help.
